After 3 days of rain, the sun finally came out today a few minutes after I crossed the border into the 10th and final country on this 3 week journey. When they said over the loudspeaker "Welcome to Switzerland. Enjoy your stay," I got a little choked up. I did it. By no means would I say I did it well.. but I did it. On my own. Of course people helped me along the way, but physically I was alone. On every train, in every weird motel and AirBnB. I met some incredible new friends. I made so many mistakes. I cried. I laughed. I hurried. I lingered. I lost myself one day to find myself the next. I panicked. I prayed. I processed. And now as I sit here at my hotel in Zurich, I prepare to reflect.
I'm a little bit fearful of my return to Los Angeles, as I'm not entirely sure how I'll see my life when I get there. Maybe I'll be grateful for the stability for a short time and being surrounded by friends who know the version of me that I'm most familiar with. Maybe I'll be comforted by my own bed, and having something other than my rapidly deteriorating combat boots on my feet. There's also a chance I'll realize that it's not the life I'm supposed to be living. Maybe I'm meant to be somewhere else.. making some sort of positive change. Learning new languages and helping other people communicate.. helping to show the world in whatever capacity I can that if we just try a little harder to understand each other and accept each other, things don't have to be so violent. This might sound like some sort of grandiose, nonsensical, rose-colored blah blah whatever, but that's why such a small fraction of what could be done is actually being done. Rarely does someone believe they can really make a difference.. but if you can think back to a time when you were really sad or scared or hurt.. and someone made you smile.. or did something kind for you.. you'll remember how in that moment that person changed your whole world.
Whether or not one person can change the entire EARTH by themselves, you can certainly change someone's world. And if we can change a world, we are indeed limitless.
So much love,